Aliento Voices: A Journey Towards Healing Generational Trauma

The Arts & Healing workshops are like healing circles and dedicated to people in the immigrant community. Every month there's a new healing topic that inspires an art activity. I found out about the workshops back in 2018. At the time I was trying my hardest to heal from emotional pain and stress. I also had a panic attack that really messed with my ability to speak. I was trying to keep up with college and, of course, I can't forget to mention that I'm a DACA recipient. The workshops seemed to be exactly what I was looking for so I gave it a try. It's 2020 now and I'm still happy participating in Aliento's Arts & Healing workshops.

The Arts & Healing workshops have impacted me in several ways. One way they have impacted me is by helping me enjoy art again. I felt like my passion for art was dying out and being so emotionally exhausted may have played a part in me losing my joy for art. The Arts & Healing workshops allow me to relax my mind and focus on visualizing what the healing topic means to me. Another way the workshops have helped me is finding my voice again. I've always been a reserved person who doesn't speak much but I could still communicate properly when I needed to. After the panic attack, I was having trouble piecing together simple sentences. My speech was slurred and I just couldn't speak correctly. 

I was interested in attending therapy, but I wasn't comfortable sharing personal information and because I was a DACA recipient. I'm also someone who prefers to get over struggles on my own and this is where the workshops challenged me in a good way. I learned to be comfortable with vulnerability. I learned to feel safe speaking about my experiences. Knowing that almost everyone had some type of connection in the immigrant community also helped me feel safe. I had trouble speaking the first couple of workshops but over time this improved. I started to feel liberated from some of the emotional pain.

I am the oldest of four children. I'm the only one who wasn't born in the U.S. and the first to attend school past elementary school. I was the only child physically disciplined and to receive harsh punishments. One of my parents constantly reminded me that I was undocumented and used it against me to keep me from speaking up about the mistreatment at home. My other parent was too focused on escaping reality and rarely stood up for anything. Other immigrants of the same culture chastised me for not putting my parents on a pedestal. I couldn't speak to a school counselor because I didn't know what I was risking. 

It's crucial to understand that my parents also have trauma from their early life in Mexico. They were focused on survival and had no time to heal past traumas. There is also personal choice. One chose to be destructive and the other chose to be optimistic. 

My dad has never had any intention to hurt me. He let me down a number of times but he does try to be a better person. He also just loves life. My dad often participates at the Arts & Healing workshops and our relationship has definitely improved. My dad seems to be at ease knowing that he's around other people who speak Spanish and know what it's like to make the journey across the border. I notice that he also has more self-worth. He has been around people made him feel worthless and being an immigrant worker has also solidified the belief that he is worthless. He doesn't stand up for himself due to the fear of losing his job so he's willing to take on any mistreatment.

In the workshops, my father is surrounded by people who understand his experiences and encourage him with positivity. He also has more fun with his creative side. I started to realize that my creative side may come from him. Over time, I started to let go of some of the resentment I had towards him. 

I'm very thankful for the Arts & Healing workshops. They've helped heal the disconnect between my dad and I. There's always a generational divide but for those in immigrant families, there's also a cultural divide that makes it difficult for us to understand each other. Some of our parents may not have learned how to heal their past trauma and they can at times project it onto their children as they grow up. The Arts & Healing workshops make it easier for all of us to understand our individual struggles. Lastly, we learn to be more compassionate towards each other and move forward to a better future.