Aliento Voices - I still have to put four times the effort to be recognized in the country I grew up in.

My name is Angelica Pacheco and I am a DACA student. My family migrated to the United States when I was two years old in the hope of finding better opportunities and getting a better education for my siblings and I. My family of five lived in a small one-room apartment with a mattress and mismatched  decorations. I lived happily in these conditions even when my dad couldn’t afford the elote (corn) that I wanted from the elotero. As a kid, I grew up assuming I was originally  from this country and the rest of my family was too. This was our home-- or so I thought. It wasn’t until I was about 8 years old that I realized this wasn’t true . My father was deported back to Mexico and my mother had told me we weren’t from this country. When I realized I was actually from Chihuahua, Mexico, I was always scared to open up about my status even during my freshman year of high school. 

I was always quiet about the issues going on around my community simply because I didn’t know where to look or how to understand these issues. While being in high school, I was able to get my DACA before The Trump Administration rescinded the program. The anger I felt when this happened hurt me the most because my friend Jovana was a bright girl with an even brighter future ahead of her and wasn’t able to submit her application. Being a first-generation  DACA student in my family made me realize that whatever I did, I had to always remember to give back to my parents and my community. 

My senior year of high school was tough because as a DACA student I was not eligible for in-state tuition, FAFSA, grants, or public scholarships. My dream was to go to ASU and live the life of a college student on campus and start my journey in becoming a nurse, but not having lawful status made that dream seem unattainable. I decided to attend Mesa Community College to make the financial burden less heavy on my family and I. My parents were paying four times more than other students for me to attend college and it upset me that I was surrounded by people who had the same goals as me and lived in the same community as me for the same time, but the only difference between them and I was that I was not born in this country.  

I sit in these classes doing the same work, having the same questions, being able to excel in the classes and I still have to put four times the effort to be recognized in the country I grew up in.

I go to class everyday with students that are just like me; we are all going there with the same goal: a better job, a paper that lets employers know we’ve completed a college program. I sit in these classes doing the same work, having the same questions, being able to excel in the classes and I still have to put four times the effort to be recognized in the country I grew up in. I have friends like Jovana who have always had a 4.0 or higher GPA, Mario who is following his dream of trying to become a professional volleyball player, and a friend like Gaby who has not given up even when she couldn’t apply for DACA because she was too young to apply for it. My goal is to become a nurse and give back to my parents and my community who has helped me in becoming the best person I could ever be. I hope to give back to the people who I see as role models and they push me to be a better person and always let me know there is hope for people like me, Jovana, Mario, and Gaby who can achieve goals and dreams just like any other person in the United States. 

As November 12th looms, I feel anxious. Although they are only hearings and there won’t be a decision, I am still concerned about what could happen if I were to lose my DACA status. As these talks arise within my family, we have talked about leaving the United States and moving back to Mexico, a country I know nothing about other than what news channels and newspapers portray it to be. My future lies in the hands of these legislators and the Supreme Court and they will determine if I will be able to continue my journey at Mesa Community College. Having to think that going back to Mexico is a possibility scares me because I have worked so hard to become the person I am today and to have it be thrown away is what alarms me most. I still let the positive thoughts overcome me because I have a voice and I am willing to fight for me and my peers, community members, family, and friends to get the best we can out of this country. I hope to be able to have a future where I have a greater sense of control. I hope to be able to tell those who don’t believe in themselves that there is always a way out and that everyone has a bright future as long as they’re willing to fight for it.